He's backed off, for the time being, and I'm beginning to think about how this could possibly end. I still haven't heard from the boys, which makes me think that either they've got it much worse than I do, or they died before they got very far. As for G, well, I do my best to remember him and not think about where he might be now.
So, if somehow I surive this. If we're not all dead? I've never actually thought that far. Somehow I've always thought that we'll just go on with our guard up for the rest of our lives.
You wouldn't believe where I was if I told you, but it's nice here and it's quiet. It's not like the apartment at all. I think it's kind of chilly, for April, but there's been worse, these last couple of weeks. There's food, and internet access (obviously).
If I survived, I guess I would go home. If I could just have the boys with me again. Home and the boys. That's really all I could hope for. Besides not being dead. Sometimes, if He was just on the other side of the wall, and I could hear Him, with this barely audible scritching noise like bones on bones, I would imagine it was the boys trying to outscare each other. Pathetic, but it gets you through. Not being afraid is the best you can do - nigh impossible, but the best.
It's odd. I really feel almost numb about this all - just what's been going on. Disconnected from it, except that then I think about "What if they're dead," and "What if I found G but he wasn't?"
I need Vinnie. We could talk for hours and I'd feel a bit better.
~ Daisy
