It's never been this bad before. In fact, now that I look back, it's almost as though it's never been bad at all. Not when you compare it to this, which is desolation and a fear of closing my eyes for even a moment. I have to keep moving. There has to be some far off point that He hasn't crossed over yet - some place that I can fortify. That apartment. I don't know. It's as though it's done something to me. Put a big honing beacon on my head, sunk some talons in.
No word yet from the boys, and all this has made me wonder if something's happened to G. He promised me once, you know, that he would make sure I never felt completely lost. And now that I do, as sentimental or superstitious or naive as it is, I wonder if he isn't gone now. Unable to keep that dumb little backyard vow.
He's a bleeding closet romantic, my G. Probably as sensitive as Vinnie, if not more. Lex would say they were both women, the lot of them, sometimes.
But, I need to be off again. I'm developing this sense for things, like a slight tug at the very back of my mind, to know when I'm being followed. It's starting to be there now.
~ Daisy
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